Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Valuable Lesson Number 2

What a class! Today in one of my classes we had a substitute and her job was to run a therapeutic group with us. It was the greatest thing and a blessing in disguise. And this is why, Adam and I got into a little fight last night. I went to pick him up from work and he called me and the way he said things it sounded like he was on his way home already. I got really mad and yelled and went back home. He called me back and said he was still at work and hadn't seen me. When I finally got back to his work to get him, I still couldn't see him. Well guess what! His work had moved buildings and I totally forgot!!! As soon as I called him to ask him where he was I realized what had happened and I just burst out into tears! I felt so horrible for getting so mad at him. So I drove down to the new building and got him and apologized profusely. We had a big discussion after we got home which consisted mostly of me just crying. 

Now you are probably wondering what this has to do with my class. The subject of her group was communication! Oh my gosh! I just kept thinking to myself, "of course it would be because this is something I need to work on." So we did a bunch of exercises that were way fun and talked about who we communicate with well and poorly. And I realized that Adam is the answer to both of those questions. It was pretty neat and I was reminded of some things that I definitely need to work on. Communication is such a strange thing. 

Anyway... she gave us a hand out that I thought was pretty neat so I want to share it with everyone. It's call the 10 Commandments of Good Communication. And they are as follows:

1. Seek to clarify your ideas before communicating.
2. Examine the true purpose of each communication.
3. Consider the total physical and human setting whenever you communicate.
4. If appropriate, consult with others when planning communication.
5. Pay attention to how you say what you say. How you communicate often determines how your message is received.
6. When it arises, take the opportunity to convey something of help or value to the receiver.
7. Follow up your communications to make sure the message was understood.
8. Communicate for tomorrow as well as today.
9. Be sure your actions support your communications.
10. Seek not only to be understood, but to understand. Be a good listener. 

I definitely learned somethings about myself today and I hope that soon I can put them into use and be a better communicator with everyone that means a lot to me especially my hubby.


Mary Ludwig said...

Wow! I love it! I am going to write down those ten commandments. I think EVERYONE could use more instruction in communication. It seems like the longer you are married the more you realize your spouse really can't read your mind. (Who would have thought huh?)

ACSoderborg said...

I love you honey!! Mwah!!

NikkiPea said...

Aww! Christine I had 'nearly' the same "lesson" and realization the other week!!! In my class we were talking about, what else, but communication. We were talking about how if we decide to give a critical comment to an adult or something that they need to improve on, you need 5 positive comments to balance out that negative. For a child its every one negative to every 8 positive comments. It really opened my eyes to how I communicate with Spencer. I tend to harp on him a lot, and just give him a list of things to do, or that he needs to do, but I don't tell them the little things that I'm happy about involving him. I mean there were other realizations there - but that was one of the big ones. I love the "commandments" of communication that you posted! We touched on a lot of those - and it all makes a person really think. Thanks for sharing your experience! :)