Better news

Today was our "post" IVF appointment and I was really nervous about what they were going to say. I was so nervous that I didn't sleep much last night. But let me tell you what a relief this appointment was. Our doctor is so wonderful and understanding and optimistic. I don't know what we'd do without his support and compassion. He explained to us that there is nothing wrong with me that they know of. They think they might have just gotten the dosage of drugs wrong. They didn't want to overstimulate me so they gave me the lowest dose they could.

He also explained that they didn't want to proceed with the procedure because it would have cut our chances in half of getting pregnant. That would have been 60% to 30%! He said it wasn't impossible but they wanted to give me the best chance possible. We talked about proceeding with another cycle and upping the doses of medication which I am not looking forward to at all. I think the best news I heard was that I don't have to take Metformin this time!!! ;) Woot!

Actually, the best news that we got was that we can start again in the next couple of months. I will have to have my period in December and then we can start with birth control and so on. We are excited to give this another shot and hopefully this time my ovaries don't give up or give too much.

The one thing I am worried about is that we might lose our grant. We are still within the timeframe but we don't know if they will pay again for restarting. Please keep your fingers, toes, and whatever else you can crossed that they will continue to pay.

I can't tell you how much all your support has meant to me in the last couple weeks. It has really been a struggle for me to wrap my head around all of this. I wish that this appointment had been earlier so I would have had a little more comfort but I can't even explain how much compassion and love I have felt from my husband, my friends and family. It was just so amazing and I am happy to have you all as a part of our journey.

Anyway...that's all for now. Hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween! Here are some pictures from October:

Well...

The last week has been laced with ultrasounds and blood draws. We were getting closer and closer to making an appointment for the retrieval. I even have awesome circles on my back side for more injections. Today was supposed to be the day that we scheduled our retrieval so we did an ultrasound and checked an estrogen level. The doctor wanted to make sure my estrogen was still going up which it has been all week. She has said they wanted it to be 200 for each egg. At approximately 11:00 am I got a phone call from the doctor (usually it is a nurse). She said that she had bad news. Not what I expected to hear. She told me that my estrogen level had dropped by more than half. It had been over 1,000 yesterday and was only 490 today. I was crying quite a bit by now and can't really remember all that she said but she thinks that my ovaries got tired and gave up. She said that maybe if they had done more of the Repronex it might have helped. They were worried about overstimulating me so they didn't want to do a lot of Repronex. 

The next step for us is to make an appointment with our doctor and figure out what our options are. I think they will change my drugs a little bit but I have no idea when we will be able to restart everything over again. I am kind of apprehensive about it because I don't like these injections especially the Repronex. I want to have babies and I want them to be Adam's so I know I can't give up on this option yet. I don't understand all of this yet and why this happened. I know God has a plan but it is not very clear to me. I hope He will make it known to me soon. I was hoping that we were done with set backs but I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised because that is all this process has been is set backs.

Anyway...I am having a hard time with this and not sure how to deal with it because I have never gone through anything like this. I really appreciate all my family and friends and their kind words. I love you all so much. I especially couldn't do this without my hubby. He has been so good to me and has been my rock. I couldn't ask for a better partner to go through this with. I will keep you all updated when we find out more information. Thanks.

New injections

Today I started on two more injections and decreased the amount of Lupron I've been taking. I've been taking the Lupron since 9/23. The Lupron hasn't been too bad because I was able to find a position that doesn't hurt and my husband has been giving me most of the injections. I am also still on Metformin.

Here are some descriptions of what the medication is for.


Leuprolide Acetate (Lupron): While it is important to stimulate several eggs to mature, it is equally important to prevent the release, or ovulation, of the eggs prior to the egg retrieval. Leuprolide Acetate is administered to prevent ovulation and to increase the number of eggs that are retrieved from the ovaries.

 Gonadotropins (Gonal F, Follistim, Bravelle, Repronex and Menopur): These are highly purified preparations of FSH or LH or both and are also administered as a series of subcutaneous injections in the lower abdomen. The gonadotropins stimulate the growth and maturation of the eggs. Side effects include ovarian discomfort, abdominal bloating, ovarian cysts and multiple pregnancies in 10-50% of women.

Luckily, the Repronex is only for 3 days because it is terrible and it hurts! I can't believe that next week we will FINALLY be doing the actual IVF. We have an ultrasound next Wednesday that will determine what day they will do the retrieval and 5 days after that they will do the transfer! It has been such a wild ride and hopefully it will get more wild if I get pregnant! =)

New Follower!

Welcome Meg! 

Thanks for following our blog! =) 

Hospital 2012

Adam was admitted to the hospital on the 14th. He wasn't feeling good at the beginning of the week and luckily had an appointment that Friday. Usually when he gets admitted I have a hard time with it because it messes with plans and life in general. I feel like this time was different. It was an answer to many questions I had about why our IVF cycle kept getting pushed back. If we did it when originally planned to do it the second time then he would have been in the hospital. Imagine that. I am thankful to have received an answer. I am also glad that he will most likely be healthy for the holidays. He's been coming in every 3 months lately so we'll have to see.

IVF update: I started my Lupron injections on Sunday. So far I have not had any side effects but a friend of mine said when she took it the side effects showed up in the second week. Soon I will stop taking the birth control. Then in the beginning of October, I will have another ultrasound. That is all we have scheduled for now. I will try and update on how things are going. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

The Utes won against BYU a couple weeks ago! Wahoo! It was a good game and I was really worried that they weren't going to win. A cool thing that happened while we've been here is that Adam got to meet the current starting quarterback of the Utes! One of Adam's respiratory therapists happens to be his girlfriend and asked him to come up and visit him. I was at the Train concert which was totally worth missing meeting him but I was still bummed I wasn't here. But it was really sweet that he came up here and talk to Adam. Unfortunately, the Utes didn't do too well this last week against Arizona State. I hope they do better against USC!

Let's see, what else has happened. Oh..one of my friends passed away this week. His name is Aaron and he has CF. I meet him when I started working at the Utes and we became friends. He was one of the sweetest people I have meet. I will miss him so much. I hope that they find a cure for this disease. Breathe easy my friend.

We went to Capitol Reef at the beginning of September. I went down with Adam's parents because Adam was SUPPOSED to be working that weekend. He asked if he could have that Saturday off to come down and surprise everyone. We had a blast with his family like always!

Capitol Reef

Having fun with my friend who is a BYU fan.

Carlos

Train concert

Thankful

One of my coworkers posted a status this morning and said think of 10 things you are thankful for and find ways to show them appreciation! I think with my new motto this would be a great thing to do.

 10 things I am thankful for:

1. God.
-I think I could pray more and read my scriptures.
2. My husband.
-Be a good wife and spend all the time I can with him.
3. My wonderful friends and family.
-I feel like I need to be more attentive to my friends/family. I want to try and spend more time with them or at least call or text them to make sure everything is going ok.
4. The autumn season is upon us.
-Fall is my favorite season and I am not sure how to show it appreciation.
5. My ability to work and make money for my family.
-I think I am going to not complain about work as much and try to be a better employee.
6. My health (although it has kind of been terrible lately).
-Eat healthier and exercise more often.
7. My coworkers.
-Be a good coworker and be someone who is fun and pleasant to work with.
8. Utah football.
-I think I show them appreciation by watching or going to the games and cheering until I have no voice! =)
9. Delicious food.
-Eat it! =)
10. The possibility that we can have children through IVF.
-Be grateful for the people who have helped us through this journey. Infertility is so hard. I never imagined it to be this hard and if you haven't dealt with inferility it is hard to know what someone is going through. I am so thankful to know people who have gone through it or are going through it with me. I need to show them appreciation because it takes a really strong person to deal with this process.

There are so many things to be thankful for and I think some times I get caught up in the terrible things that are going on. I hope that this list will be a reminder for me that there are so many more wonderful things to think about. I hope you will all take a minute to think about 10 things you are thankful for and how we can show those people or things our appreciation.

New motto

Life has not been so easy lately and it has been uber busy. I don't see my hubby a lot with us working a lot and him going to school, our IVF is not going as smoothly as I had hoped, I've been sick with the Metformin and with strep, etc. etc. etc. So I have been complaining a lot about these things and frankly I am tired of it. I need to stop complaining and just be happy that I have my hubby, that we have jobs, he's in school, and that we have the possibility of having a baby some time soon. I found this picture that my friend Lannea shared and it made me realize that there is a lot I have to be happy for.

So this is my new motto and hopefully I can abide by it. I need to be happy with what I have.

Here is one thing I am happy with:

THE UTES WON!!!!! And we got to spend some time together and enjoy the game! =)

Metformin again?

This drug is consuming my life. I am sorry that you all have to hear about it but it is part of the process. I feel like crap most of the day and I want to complain about it somewhere. I just upped my dose for the last time so I hope my body will start getting used to it like people have advised me it will. Then you all won't have to listen to me complain. ;)
On the 2nd of September, I will start a drug called Lupron. I found on the U's reproductive medicine website a good definition of what Lupron does. So here it is:

Leuprolide Acetate (Lupron): While it is important to stimulate several eggs to mature, it is equally important to prevent the release, or ovulation, of the eggs prior to the egg retrieval. Leuprolide Acetate is administered to prevent ovulation and to increase the number of eggs that are retrieved from the ovaries. This medication is typically administered as an injection just beneath the skin of the abdomen or thigh. Side effects may include hot flashes, headache, mood swings, vaginal dryness, bone loss and painful intercourse in fewer than 10% of women.

Yay for more fun! I know it will be worth it but the next couple months are going to be tough. Please keep us in your thoughts! =)

Metformin

Last week we had an appointment with the reproductive doctor. They wanted to do what they call a trial transfer. Warning: this might be TMI for some people. They wanted to make sure my uterus still looks good and measured it. The doctor also counted my eggs and seemed concerned that I am making more than necessary. So he put me on Metformin which is usually a medication for diabetes or a syndrome called PCOS and I don't have either of these. He put me on it to regulate my egg production. It has not been a fun drug to take and tomorrow I have to up my dose. It has made me sick most night with nausea and bowel problems. I hope that is has the outcome that the doctor is looking for.

Also, I will be starting my injection medications on the 2nd of September and then the 12th of September with have our meeting with the psychiatrist. I am not sure what is all going to happen during that appointment but I hope that it goes well and won't postpone this again. I hope that this is finally the right time and nothing else will stand in the way. But I know when the time is right we will be blessed with a beautiful bundle of joy and I can't wait for that day. =) 

No Fast Food August!

In a previous post I wrote how I was not going to eat out so much this month. Today is the first day of August and so far so good! It was very tempting to stop and getting something to eat after I worked off 1,000 calories in Zumba but I didn't! Wahoo! I waited until I got home and had a slice of cheese and some raspberries! I have a feeling this is going to be really hard because it is so much easier to stop and get something to eat than cook dinner. The summer isn't much help either because it is so hot and who wants to have the hot oven on? Not me! Good thing we have awesome neighbors that bought a grill and will let us talk them into having a BBQ every once in a while!

Anyway...I hope this will help knock off a little weight! Stay tuned to see what happens!

P.S. Today was a lot better than yesterday! I think distracting myself will make time go faster! Here's to hoping! Thanks for all the support! I appreciate how wonderful my friends and family are. 

Roller Coaster

I like roller coasters. Roller coasters are my favorite ride at amusement parks. It is a thrill of the unknown that usually ends in excitement. I feel like this the same with emotional roller coasters. I know there will hopefully be something exciting at the end of this roller coaster but I feel like it is the roller coaster that will never end.

We probably have to postpone our IVF cycle once again. It will be only two weeks but it feels like another 6 months has been added on. I am not very good at waiting even if I know there is a reason why we have to wait. This has happened so much that I am starting to worry that every time we get closer, something else will happen. Now mind you, I know this is not realistic but it is just how I am feeling. It also could be worse for us but this is something that has not been easy to deal with. You never really know what it is like to have fertility issues until you are going through it. I feel for people who have been dealing with this for a longer time than I have. It is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

There is so many tests and people you have to meet with before you can start the process and some times things fall through the cracks or are not completely understood. I didn't schedule a meeting with a psychiatrist soon enough and unfortunately she was booked out until September 12th. They won't let me start my first IVF med before completing this.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day and that I will get some of my questions answer. I also hope this will be our LAST draw back and we will get to the exciting part of this roller coaster. Thanks for listening.

Get it together

For the month of August, I decided I am going to get my butt in gear and lose some weight.  So therefore I am dubbing August, "No fast food August"! Fast food as been my downfall for the past 6 months or so. Neither Adam or I have felt like cooking because we are busy and tired. But I am so tired of not liking my body and I know if I stop eating out and make healthier foods I would lose some of it. It is time for you to go excess weight. I am over you.
I also need to start exercising more. I feel like lately I haven't had much energy. Work wears me out and I go home and become a vegetable. I want to do more Zumba or hiking or swimming or anything really.
My biggest problem is that I don't have any discipline and I am not sure that this will go well. I learned something from my sister-in-law and this book she is reading about introverts and extroverts. Apparently I am not self-motivated but motivated by others. So I am wondering if there is anyone else out there that wants to join me in this never-ending quest to lose weight. I need some motivation ASAP!! I hope we can find recipes that are healthy and easy, work out together, push each other to accomplish our goals or just be a motivator to do all of the above.

July

The 4th!

Adam and Afton

The zoo! I finally got to see the polar bear awake!

Out for Kaitlin's birthday

 The Natural History Museum

This has been a busy month! My sister in law, brother in law, and niece have been here! We have been doing a lot of fun stuff as you can see in the pictures above! I am not sure what we'll do with ourselves once they leave.

I also have an interview for a PRN (as needed) recreational therapy job in Ogden! I am excited and nervous for this interview. I hope I get it. =) Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.